Craving Simplification

For the past several weeks, when I feel overwhelmed and like there's too much to get done, which is very often . . . the same word keeps coming to my mind - Simplify.  I want to simplify my life in every way.  But how do you even find the time to do it?  There are so many things I feel behind on, this blog being one of them.  What should be a joy to me to record my family's happenings, becomes a burden that is added to another long list of things I can't seem to get to.  I was so motivated over the summer to stick with my nutrition and health, and still am doing fairly well, but as I knew would happen, I can't keep up with blogging about it or keep up with it to the intensity I was able to in the summer.  And that's just life.  That's the stage I'm in with young children.  And being a Mom.  And working outside the home.  And the list goes on.  But what do I do about it?  I feel like I'm trying to keep up with these expectations, mostly that I've put on myself to keep doing.  I've got to keep up with this blog, and my yearly family website where we send out a Christmas greeting each year with our family letter, and keep it updated with all the pictures from all the events we've done throughout the year.  But who really looks at that anyway?  Yes, I myself like going to it and looking back over the years and seeing what we did, and how young the kids were, and how everyone has grown.  I imagine one day my kids will look at it and find joy.  But who really knows if they will?  Am I wasting time posting pictures and updates that I could be spending and enjoying with them in the flesh in the next room?  This is my current dilemma.  I am craving simplification.  But all these other things I want to do, they are part of what makes me me.  I love pictures, I love photography.  Another thing I currently feel I don't have time for.  I've invested over the past couple years in building my photography equipment and learning skills, in the hopes that I could make a decent side income doing something that I love to do, take pictures.  But right now, it too feels like a burden that I don't have the time or money to put into it.  Maybe this is just a season.  Maybe in another day or two I'll feel completely different.  But for now, this is what it is.  I've got to find a way to simplify my life.  I know that my #1 purpose right now in my life is to be a mom to Ethan, Caleb, & Alaina.  I wish I could do it full time.  But I can't.  I am thankful I only have to work part time for things to work for our family.  I realize that is also a blessing, and many people are a part of making that a reality for our family.  I'm not ungrateful.  But because I have limited time with them, and the years are short, I don't want to waste my energy on keeping up pictures or keeping up recollecting all that we've been doing on a blog.  But yet, I love to write.  It is also a part of what makes me who I am.  I don't want to give up me, because keeping the things I love to do in my life, makes me a better wife and mom.  So, this is me "thinking it out" through writing.  I'm seeking out what my next step should (or shouldn't be) in regards to all I've said.  I'm definitely craving simplification, but I don't know what that will ultimately look like for me.  And maybe that's ok.  I'm seeking God's help to help me work out what that means for me.  Until then, there may be a long haitus on this blog and our family website too.  Thanks for your patience with me as I try to figure this out.

When I am tempted to complain . . .

When I am tempted to complain about how hard it is to come back after a week long vacation (how ironic is that?!), I am reminded:

"Do everything without complaining or arguing. Then you will be innocent and without any wrong." Philippians 2:14-15. 

We just got back yesterday from a week long vacation to the Outer Banks of NC with 24 people in my family.  We had done something similar 2 years ago, and decided to do it again.  This time I thought was even better than before.  We stayed in a nicer house, my kids were older so I could enjoy myself a little more, and it was really just a wonderful time!  But you know how vacations go, you spend time the week before vacation working yourself crazy to prepare to go (at both my out of the home job and in home wife and mom things), then you get back and have a week's worth of things to catch up on (at both my out of the home job and in home job as wife and mom.)  It's exhausting and I've only been trying to get back to the swing of things for 1 day! Plus when we left for our vacation we were in school schedule mode, and now school is out so summer mode is upon us immediately!  I'm not ready, not prepared!  I tried to get a new family summer schedule/routine/system set up tonight for my family and everyone cried and had break downs when I tried to explain it to them.  Probably not the best time for me to explain it to them when we're all still tired emotionally and physically from our 10 hour drive back home.  I feel behind in everything . . . our finances, my calendar of summer events for the kids, work tasks and responsibilities, home tasks and responsibilities, EVERYTHING!  So, you see my temptation to complain?  

But then I read that verse in my devotional book sitting on my night stand.  Oh how God can get our attention right at the right time, huh?  So, I am choosing to focus my thoughts on my blessings, my gifts, and my opportunities instead.  Thank you, Lord, for this reminder!  And please help me to take ONE THING at a time to catch back up at work and home, and to depend on you each step at a time.  

Has something or someone stolen your joy?

Has something or someone stolen your joy?  If you're like me, you can answer yes to this question right now, or have been able to answer yes at some time in your life.  I don't have long to blog, because it is 1 am and I have to be up early, but this was on my mind . . . for the past month to six weeks I have let something steal my joy.  So much so that I've wasted countless nights not sleeping, and thought about it all day, it has consumed me.

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

I decided I'm not going to let Satan steal my joy any longer through this situation I've been dealing with.  I have chosen today, with God's help, not to let Satan steal my joy.  Any time I start to worry, think, dwell, or even give a second thought to this situation, I am going to remember that Jesus came to give me a full life, not one filled with worry.  I have done all I can do in the situation, behaved in what I truly feel was the manner becoming of a Christian, and that's all I can do.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."

And so with these words, I will take heart!  I will have peace in Jesus.  Thank you Lord for telling me these things, and allowing me to finally lift this weight from my shoulders.  I trust in You and Your Holy Word, the Bible.  Thank you for your encouragement to me in it today.

I'm Tired . . . Anyone else?

I'm really tired . . . not necessarily physically tired, although that too, but mentally tired.  We've gotten through Christmas time around here, New Year's, and now it's back to regular routines, school schedules, starting basketball practice for the boys, planning birthday parties for my oldest and youngest children, celebrating my husband's birthday, and on and on an on.  Oh, and that's just my job as mom.  My job as an accounting assistant warrants even more busyness . . . end of year closings of records, quarterly tax filing, end of year tax filing, closing out everything from one year and starting books and charts for the next year.  When do I have a chance to recover from one thing to get ready for the next?  It feels like never.  I know part of my dreary outlook is because I haven't been exercising regularly.  I always feel better when I take the time to stay physically fit.  But when do I have time or energy for that?  We don't even have our Christmas tree, ornaments, or all the decorations put away yet!  Too tired.  Too busy.  They may be up until February, maybe March at this rate.  I hope I can start to cling to these promises below.

"God is our refuge and strength.  A very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear.  Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling." - Psalm 46:1-3 NKJV

God, please be my refuge and strength during this time.  Please allow me to let You be my very present help.